December '97 -  January '98 ANCHORED NEAR LAE, PAPUA NEW GUINEA This newsletter is written by the all-female crew on Little Swan. Noelle Iles and Renee van der Most have been traveling with Toni for 3 weeks, from Gizo in the Solomon Islands to Papua New Guinea. First stop was Simbo Island, with its megapode eggs and sulphur smoking volcano crater; this was a gentle introduction to cruising for the crew. The following morning dawned bright and beautiful and after our morning swim, we headed west for the eastern most edge of Papua New Guinea, Budi Budi. Since cyclone Justine passed their way the villagers have had little food to eat and survive on a diet of fish and coconut. Their pigs are fed coconuts, so this island is renowned for producing coconut-flavored pork. We watched the villagers preparing peche de mer. We could have made a lot of money if we had any tobacco on board; some villagers have traveled to the "mainland" (known as Woodlark Island us) to buy tobacco but will have to wait 3 months for a favorable wind to return home. We ate crayfish and coconut crab, but were unable to appreciate the crab's balls - apparently an acquired taste, but not even one Toni has acquired yet. We left Budi Budi without much fanfare, heading into the sunset for Egum Atoll. According to the charts Egum Atoll is a big light blue circle, indicating a shallow tropical atoll. However, the water in the central area was so deep we could not get a depth reading, and blue water was only apparent above a few dangerous coral heads. Egum Island had a volley ball pitch and a crowded array of leaf huts nestled on a short stretch of beach. As at Budi Budi the people were starving and here also suffered a lack of fresh water, and we saw children drinking sea water. As Toni had had his outboard motor stolen at Gizo, we were able to sell 60 liters of petrol to a villager with an outboard motor, who had failed to keep in reserve sufficient fuel to get him to the nearest petrol station in Alotau. Here we discovered how varied the sailboats  would be as we traveled through the area, and Noelle and Renee had the opportunity to sail in one of the local canoes in exchange for 25 liters of water. One of the highlights of being at the atoll was diving, especially at Egum Rock with its dolphins and thousands of birds (sorry, no ornithologist on board!). Fantastic diving. After a good mornings sailing the wind dropped as we approached the south eastern edge of Normanby island. It was good to be anchored in a bay by mountains and surrounded by the sound of bird song. Onward to Alotau and the culture shock of walking into a supermarket and being able to buy cold drinks and ice cream. Especially a shock after having been without a fridge on board after the generator had bagarap ("you are bastards for mentioning this", Toni). The Lonely Planet Guide suggested we spent time watching the boats coming and going in the harbor - we did and found most to be overloaded with stores and people on their way home for Christmas. We had been warned off the people of mainland New Guinea but were pleasantly surprised at how friendly they were and helpful. ("And Mum, I did not see a single penis gourde", Renee).  After photocopying the chart of the route to the Trobrians (though some of the most treacherous reefs in the area, which Toni just happened not to have or feel he needed!) we spent an afternoon trying to match edges and stick it all together. Toni said "it  will be nothing, I've done worse in Fuji"- this did not allay the fears of the crew. We found a deserted village with not ideal anchorage to celebrate Christmas. With a cardboard Christmas tree, a streamer and some Father Christmas and snowman decorations we ate a fantastic Christmas dinner of mushroom chicken soup with sweet mashed potatoes with hot English mustard  (not quite turkey!). Santa Claus obviously had been shopping in the same stores in Alotau, and we are now all the proud owners of the same  Milne Bay t-shirts. The following day we headed to the Trobrian Islands (known as Trobes) and the scene of many a yam festival - when the young girls rape the men and chew off their eyelashes to demonstrate the fact. Fortunately (?) not that time of year for Toni, although he enjoyed being photographed with young nubile native girls with young titties (his words).  Spent one night moored off mangrove swamp at Boli Point where Paul Thoureux in his "Happy Isles of Oceania" reports crocodiles eating a woman. Little did I know about this the next day when after running aground despite having four local guides on board, I plunged into the water to determine our escape route. Finally made it to Lousia, where the carvers were out in force, forcing their carvings before our eyes and being very aggressive. The situation also go a bit tense after we photographed a local girl in custom dress, whose husband wanted us to pay more money than that we had negotiated with the girl. The gathering crowd did not look like it would side with us. We now know what Toni means when he says that he is feeling a bit "toey". Traveled inland on a public motorized vehicle (PMV) to see some villages, a yam house and to swim in a fresh water pool in a cave. Unfortunately we got back to the boat later than planned, after getting  a puncture which the driver thought might have occurred as a result of villagers putting nails in our path. The local guides managed to guide us back to their village without incident but we were feeling "toey" about the villagers and had a rough night at anchor so moved on to Kaibola the following morning. Kaibola proved to be a friendly place in the Trobes. The primitive nature of the villagers was brought home to us as we watched two girls de-licing a third and eating the lice. The village was crowded with very small houses, each measuring 2 X 3 m and some decorated with pages from an old woman's magazines and we again got an opportunity to buy carvings and grass skirts. Noelle brought so many large items, including the largest laundry basket I have ever seen and I don't know how she will get it back to the Solomon Islands. Yesterday morning we set sail for New Guinea proper. We had a great day's sailing but the evening put hairs on our chests! The rain came down, the wind was on the nose for most of the night and then when we could put the sail up the halyard snapped.  (Noelle interjects here:  while keeping watch in the pouring rain with lightning zapping the water in front of me, nearly blinding me the entire Main Sail came rushing down upon the deck "what the hell is happening?"  Well. The boat was rocking and rolling from side to side enough to bring my 2-minute noodles up again, and with all the lightning and rolling from my position on the deck I decided to hold tightly to the stanchions ..only now ..24 hours later as we sit here quietly in a beautiful cove of jungle, bird calls, red wine and the happy thought of New Year's Eve does Tony bother to inform me that, "when lightning is striking the last thing you want to do is grab the stanchions or if you do, you don't have to worry too much because you will turn instantly to ash!" (Thanks a hell of a lot Toni.) Later in the evening the engine stopped and I managed to rouse myself enough, to encourage Toni to sort it out as I did not fancy hours of floating at sea whilst we caught up on sleep and prolonged the nightmare of rocking at sea. Noelle has decided that what is so enchanting about New Guinea is that you never know if you are going to wake up alive. Still alive and happy with it. - love  Renee & Noelle